Almost 26 years ago, God brought into my life a woman who would become not only my boss, but a very dear friend. My best friend. We don't see each other often, or even talk to each other that frequently, however, when we do, we have the deepest, most satisfying, encouraging, loving conversations I would have ever dreamt possible. Today was one of those days.
I met Barb within weeks of moving to Estes Park, I found I was pregnant and decided if Estes was to be my home, I needed to find a doctor here. The one I chose was just starting his business, (within the year I believe) and Barb was his part time, temporary office manager. Almost 10 (+ or -) years later I found myself working as a temporary file clerk, soon I would be her assistant. Temporary and part time are words neither she or I were able to follow through on. Some would call us suckers. : )
We used to spend hours reading the bible, "walking the walk", "talking the talk" and becoming soul sisters. We both were very faithful, in very different religions. Mine, often hated by others, hers, well some in her congregation didn't/don't believe we were/are Christians. Yet there were no judgments and we bonded immediately. We shared so much heartache, the first being my fathers death and later more personal losses and fears and problems. But there were the many blessings as well. The birth of my daughter, the joy of both of our children, the beauty of a river in an Aspen grove as we shared lunch, and Ohhh so much more.
She will always be the light of my spiritual life, a gem that will always be with me. God bless her and her family, especially in the trying times. May she have the strength to confront what she must and the wisdom to lead her father-in-law to You.
I love her and am closer to her than my sisters. She 'hears' me, understands me, loves me for who I am. I'm so grateful for her friendship.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Thank God for daughters
WOW, my daughter, the one I don't speak to near as often as the other told me today, "I need my mom" ! Only God knew how badly I needed to hear that. My youngest daughter calls me two to three times a week, at least. The older one, she is finding her way and doesn't like to speak much. Very much like me, she is. Not a phone person.
I really felt that both girls appreciated me, but only the youngest of four only really needs me still. What a surprise that call was. Totally from God. She was talking about her draw to Seattle, but how she could never move there, she needed her mom to be around. And how she better have kids quick while I was still around. Ahhhh Here I was thinking I could see them more and be closer to them from heaven. I still believe that, but she even mentioned living together if she were ever alone.
A week or so ago she called to ask me to read her a story. She was feeling really sick and just wanted me to read her to sleep. Double AHHHH
The youngest, she is so cute and always makes me laugh. As mentioned she calls me often just to say hi and see how I'm doing. She's more a phone person. She will ask me to help her with homework or look something up on the internet or whatever.
My boys, ohhh how different. I have to remind myself the oldest is like the oldest daughter, not a phone person. I'm not so I don't blame them. I just get upset when they don't answer the phone or call me back. Heck they don't even check their messages but in this day and age I find it hard to believe they don't look at the phone and see I called. Caller ID now can make it harder to 'make excuses' "I didn't know you called" etc. Makes for hard feelings and it isn't always called for. Mothers intuition led me to know something wasn't right this last week/weekend. Unusual for me, I called my son three times plus sent an email, (which comes across their phones). Never an answer or response. By Mon. night I was a bit upset. He finally called in response to the email; he had been really sick for about a week. OK, me bad. All is forgiven, but still.....
This is my positive blog, I'll save any other feelings for my anonymous one.
Thank you for my daughters God. They always so make my day/week/life.
I really felt that both girls appreciated me, but only the youngest of four only really needs me still. What a surprise that call was. Totally from God. She was talking about her draw to Seattle, but how she could never move there, she needed her mom to be around. And how she better have kids quick while I was still around. Ahhhh Here I was thinking I could see them more and be closer to them from heaven. I still believe that, but she even mentioned living together if she were ever alone.
A week or so ago she called to ask me to read her a story. She was feeling really sick and just wanted me to read her to sleep. Double AHHHH
The youngest, she is so cute and always makes me laugh. As mentioned she calls me often just to say hi and see how I'm doing. She's more a phone person. She will ask me to help her with homework or look something up on the internet or whatever.
My boys, ohhh how different. I have to remind myself the oldest is like the oldest daughter, not a phone person. I'm not so I don't blame them. I just get upset when they don't answer the phone or call me back. Heck they don't even check their messages but in this day and age I find it hard to believe they don't look at the phone and see I called. Caller ID now can make it harder to 'make excuses' "I didn't know you called" etc. Makes for hard feelings and it isn't always called for. Mothers intuition led me to know something wasn't right this last week/weekend. Unusual for me, I called my son three times plus sent an email, (which comes across their phones). Never an answer or response. By Mon. night I was a bit upset. He finally called in response to the email; he had been really sick for about a week. OK, me bad. All is forgiven, but still.....
This is my positive blog, I'll save any other feelings for my anonymous one.
Thank you for my daughters God. They always so make my day/week/life.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
recent blessings
Posted on March 16, 2011 by bambifour
Well today, God did it again. Money is worse than tight, but I had to go to the store for food. The bread I wanted was on sale, (St. Patrick’s day, 2 day only), the cereal I wanted had a coupon making it cheaper than the sell price, milk and eggs were on sale….I saved about $20! Thank you Lord.
Well today, God did it again. Money is worse than tight, but I had to go to the store for food. The bread I wanted was on sale, (St. Patrick’s day, 2 day only), the cereal I wanted had a coupon making it cheaper than the sell price, milk and eggs were on sale….I saved about $20! Thank you Lord.
Peace
Posted on March 16, 2011 by bambifour
Peace is not the absence of trouble but the presence of God.
—seen on a church sign in
Columbus, South Carolina
Peace is not the absence of trouble but the presence of God.
—seen on a church sign in
Columbus, South Carolina
car miracles
Posted on March 13, 2011 by bambifour
The examples of God’s angels protecting us while in the car surpass the unexpected money miracles. We were coming up the ‘canyon’ and my daughter was getting in her experience on her drivers license permit. I don’t remember why, just that suddenly we were riding the side of a mountain. To this day there is only one reason we didn’t roll the car. Angels were holding it and guiding her to ‘ride it out’. One of the scarier moments.
We were taking a great many trips to Denver when we moved up to Estes. It began as a test run so most of our items remained in Denver as we found a furnished house to rent. The wagon seemed to be acting a little funny and I have no memory of any warning lights coming on. But, when I was about 6 blocks from home I knew I had to pull off of the BUSY, two lane road I was on. I was just approaching Colfax and decided to swing into the driveway right there. I had no idea it was a garage for mechanics. Worse yet, just as I rolled up into the lot, my entire drive shaft fell off. Had that happened in the canyon, or the highway it could have been disastrous. Any place else it would have caused a mess at the least and traffic jambs galore. I would have had to pay for a tow, money I didn’t have. I don’t remember what happened after that. But I do KNOW that another miracle had to have happened that allowed us to get the car fixed as I would drive it until my brother borrowed it, and blew the engine in it. He wrecked or destroyed every car anyone loaned him….but I digress…NOTHING is about him.
The examples of God’s angels protecting us while in the car surpass the unexpected money miracles. We were coming up the ‘canyon’ and my daughter was getting in her experience on her drivers license permit. I don’t remember why, just that suddenly we were riding the side of a mountain. To this day there is only one reason we didn’t roll the car. Angels were holding it and guiding her to ‘ride it out’. One of the scarier moments.
We were taking a great many trips to Denver when we moved up to Estes. It began as a test run so most of our items remained in Denver as we found a furnished house to rent. The wagon seemed to be acting a little funny and I have no memory of any warning lights coming on. But, when I was about 6 blocks from home I knew I had to pull off of the BUSY, two lane road I was on. I was just approaching Colfax and decided to swing into the driveway right there. I had no idea it was a garage for mechanics. Worse yet, just as I rolled up into the lot, my entire drive shaft fell off. Had that happened in the canyon, or the highway it could have been disastrous. Any place else it would have caused a mess at the least and traffic jambs galore. I would have had to pay for a tow, money I didn’t have. I don’t remember what happened after that. But I do KNOW that another miracle had to have happened that allowed us to get the car fixed as I would drive it until my brother borrowed it, and blew the engine in it. He wrecked or destroyed every car anyone loaned him….but I digress…NOTHING is about him.
God’s miralces
Posted on March 13, 2011 by bambifour
The following is taken from a Guidepost email I get:
A Little Bonus
"She wanted to go back to school, but didn’t have the money. The power of prayer was what she needed.
By Margaret Walsh
At the age of 36 I decided to return to college. As I signed the registration forms in the bursar’s office the cashier said, “The charge is five hundred and nineteen dollars. If you do not have the money now, you can pay next week when you start your first class.”
I didn’t have the money then. In fact, I wasn’t sure I’d have it the next week either, but my desire to complete my education was strong.
“Dear Lord,” I prayed as I left the office, “if you want me to do this, help me to find a way.”
In the late afternoon I stopped at the Department of Motor Vehicles to renew my driver’s license. After scanning my forms the clerk asked me about a name transfer I had made several years earlier on my car. Then she excused herself to confer with a supervisor.
What now? I fretted.
“Give it to her,” I heard the supervisor say. When the clerk returned, she was smiling. “We owe you some money on that transfer a few years back,” she said. “We’re going to give it to you now. It comes to five hundred and forty dollars.”
God had not only answered my prayer for the means to continue my education; he added a little bonus too!"
I don’t know how many stories like this I could tell. Once, I needed about $1000 for something important and I had NO idea how I would come up with that money. My daughter hurt her ankle playing baseball and because of the insurance their dad had, I had to take her to Boulder to be seen. (This was a generally ‘sore subject’ I simmered under each time something like this happened) On the way home, a deer jumped into the road hitting the drivers side fender. I was a mess, searching everywhere with a flashlight for the injured deer. thankfully, there was none to be found, no blood or hair on the car or road and so I was relieved at that good fortune. Amazingly, an uncommon practice, carrying full coverage on the car, was in place. The car was ‘totaled’ and the amount….just over $1000.
Miracles happen every day, if we only keep our heart and minds open so to see that….He has truly blessed us!
The following is taken from a Guidepost email I get:
A Little Bonus
"She wanted to go back to school, but didn’t have the money. The power of prayer was what she needed.
By Margaret Walsh
At the age of 36 I decided to return to college. As I signed the registration forms in the bursar’s office the cashier said, “The charge is five hundred and nineteen dollars. If you do not have the money now, you can pay next week when you start your first class.”
I didn’t have the money then. In fact, I wasn’t sure I’d have it the next week either, but my desire to complete my education was strong.
“Dear Lord,” I prayed as I left the office, “if you want me to do this, help me to find a way.”
In the late afternoon I stopped at the Department of Motor Vehicles to renew my driver’s license. After scanning my forms the clerk asked me about a name transfer I had made several years earlier on my car. Then she excused herself to confer with a supervisor.
What now? I fretted.
“Give it to her,” I heard the supervisor say. When the clerk returned, she was smiling. “We owe you some money on that transfer a few years back,” she said. “We’re going to give it to you now. It comes to five hundred and forty dollars.”
God had not only answered my prayer for the means to continue my education; he added a little bonus too!"
I don’t know how many stories like this I could tell. Once, I needed about $1000 for something important and I had NO idea how I would come up with that money. My daughter hurt her ankle playing baseball and because of the insurance their dad had, I had to take her to Boulder to be seen. (This was a generally ‘sore subject’ I simmered under each time something like this happened) On the way home, a deer jumped into the road hitting the drivers side fender. I was a mess, searching everywhere with a flashlight for the injured deer. thankfully, there was none to be found, no blood or hair on the car or road and so I was relieved at that good fortune. Amazingly, an uncommon practice, carrying full coverage on the car, was in place. The car was ‘totaled’ and the amount….just over $1000.
Miracles happen every day, if we only keep our heart and minds open so to see that….He has truly blessed us!
No Pollyanna
Posted on March 10, 2011 by bambifour
Part of the readings at mass today were “follow me, and you will have all you desire”. Paraphrased obviously. Christ is speaking of eternal life and a love we can’t even begin to fathom. But the human side of me has on occasion wondered why, after trying to live my life as Christ asked, God demands, loving others and God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, we can’t win even a small sweepstakes, amount in the lottery etc. I truly want for nothing, but at times I would like to go out for a nice steak, or hamburger or any meal out and not worry about the cost. Often I wish I had the money to give to a favorite cause or fundraiser. I see the cost of gas, a near empty gas tank and am sad that I can’t just take off whenever I want, go wherever I want.
Life growing up was much different from life now. At times even going to the thrift store for two dollar bag day is impossible and the dollar menu at a fast food restaurant is beyond my reach. At these times, I wish for more. I feel sorry for myself. But, when the day ends, I’m happy. I have plenty of food in my cupboard, I may not be ‘hungry’ for what I have, but I have it. I have a home to live in with heat, a bed and plenty to keep me entertained. What I want for is luxury items, things I seldom really need. What I have is so much more than millions in this world even dream of, even in our own country.
I have been blessed, I am grateful. But yes, sometimes I am a bit jealous and sometimes I want more.
Part of the readings at mass today were “follow me, and you will have all you desire”. Paraphrased obviously. Christ is speaking of eternal life and a love we can’t even begin to fathom. But the human side of me has on occasion wondered why, after trying to live my life as Christ asked, God demands, loving others and God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, we can’t win even a small sweepstakes, amount in the lottery etc. I truly want for nothing, but at times I would like to go out for a nice steak, or hamburger or any meal out and not worry about the cost. Often I wish I had the money to give to a favorite cause or fundraiser. I see the cost of gas, a near empty gas tank and am sad that I can’t just take off whenever I want, go wherever I want.
Life growing up was much different from life now. At times even going to the thrift store for two dollar bag day is impossible and the dollar menu at a fast food restaurant is beyond my reach. At these times, I wish for more. I feel sorry for myself. But, when the day ends, I’m happy. I have plenty of food in my cupboard, I may not be ‘hungry’ for what I have, but I have it. I have a home to live in with heat, a bed and plenty to keep me entertained. What I want for is luxury items, things I seldom really need. What I have is so much more than millions in this world even dream of, even in our own country.
I have been blessed, I am grateful. But yes, sometimes I am a bit jealous and sometimes I want more.
Understanding how much dad loved me
Posted on March 9, 2011 by bambifour
While I was ‘mama’s girl’, I never felt very close to my father and once even questioned his love for me. Oh the teenage years… I was out of high school and living at home when not at college. I kept talking about wanting a motorcycle and as I didn’t have a job, (dad wanted us to enjoy ‘childhood’ as long as possible, having ‘worked’ since he was 5) had to count on mom and dad buying me one for a special occasion. Dad was adamant against it. One day he finally told me why. When he was very young he witnessed a motorcyclist lose control on street car tracks and, hit a pole, head first, no helmet. A vision he couldn’t bear seeing one of his girls experienceing.
A Christmas or two after this, he surprised me with a motorcycle. My boyfriend, future husband, had sold his for a bigger one, and dad arranged it so I got his old motorcycle. I was ecstatic but it took me a few years for the impact of that gift to hit me. How much must he have loved me to put aside his fears to make me happy. I wonder if I ever told him I understood. And I knew he did indeed love me.
That gift later led to his suggestion that I get a job where I could ride motorcycles for a living. So I did. My first job was as a motorcycle escort/security guard. Probably the happiest time of my life, pre-kids and definitely my favorite job. Those were the days and I would love to relive them….
While I was ‘mama’s girl’, I never felt very close to my father and once even questioned his love for me. Oh the teenage years… I was out of high school and living at home when not at college. I kept talking about wanting a motorcycle and as I didn’t have a job, (dad wanted us to enjoy ‘childhood’ as long as possible, having ‘worked’ since he was 5) had to count on mom and dad buying me one for a special occasion. Dad was adamant against it. One day he finally told me why. When he was very young he witnessed a motorcyclist lose control on street car tracks and, hit a pole, head first, no helmet. A vision he couldn’t bear seeing one of his girls experienceing.
A Christmas or two after this, he surprised me with a motorcycle. My boyfriend, future husband, had sold his for a bigger one, and dad arranged it so I got his old motorcycle. I was ecstatic but it took me a few years for the impact of that gift to hit me. How much must he have loved me to put aside his fears to make me happy. I wonder if I ever told him I understood. And I knew he did indeed love me.
That gift later led to his suggestion that I get a job where I could ride motorcycles for a living. So I did. My first job was as a motorcycle escort/security guard. Probably the happiest time of my life, pre-kids and definitely my favorite job. Those were the days and I would love to relive them….
Childhood
Posted on March 9, 2011 by bambifour
I grew up in a ‘well to do family’, blessed by parents who kept life ‘real’. I never remember feeling better than anyone else, always appreciated what we had and was happy, wanting nothing. I was number three and would become ‘mama’s girl’. Probably because I was her ‘miracle child’ and the first two were spoiled by grandparents. My sister, number 4 would become ‘daddy’s girl’. Eight years later the two boys were born. Four girls, two boys.
iI would become a Central City Flower girl, as my sisters were. Plus, we were all Debutantes. I never would have guessed how much life could change. Yes, I wish I could have given my children less to worry about, prevent them from being tormented by those who think they they were better than us, but at the same time, my children are caring and compassionate and though in my eyes, (of course) they are better than many of the ‘rich kids’, their current group of friends are the ones who ‘say it all’. When they show up at gatherings, everyone chimes in unison, “Yeahhh the B—— are here”. They treat others with kindness and respect and are loved for who they are. So yes, though times would be rough, I was blessed with four diamonds in that ‘rough’. Thank you God.
I grew up in a ‘well to do family’, blessed by parents who kept life ‘real’. I never remember feeling better than anyone else, always appreciated what we had and was happy, wanting nothing. I was number three and would become ‘mama’s girl’. Probably because I was her ‘miracle child’ and the first two were spoiled by grandparents. My sister, number 4 would become ‘daddy’s girl’. Eight years later the two boys were born. Four girls, two boys.
iI would become a Central City Flower girl, as my sisters were. Plus, we were all Debutantes. I never would have guessed how much life could change. Yes, I wish I could have given my children less to worry about, prevent them from being tormented by those who think they they were better than us, but at the same time, my children are caring and compassionate and though in my eyes, (of course) they are better than many of the ‘rich kids’, their current group of friends are the ones who ‘say it all’. When they show up at gatherings, everyone chimes in unison, “Yeahhh the B—— are here”. They treat others with kindness and respect and are loved for who they are. So yes, though times would be rough, I was blessed with four diamonds in that ‘rough’. Thank you God.
Introduction
Posted on March 8, 2011 by bambifour
The first blessing of my life began with my conception. My mother was struck with polio and was told she would have no more children. While at the ocean, getting ‘rehabbed’, she became pregnant. My next blessing was being born without any disabilities or ‘issues’ related to moms polio.
I was born to a loving couple that over the years I would come to appreciate, admire and respect as I saw so many marriages fall apart. Divorce became a common part of society’s ‘norm’ and thinking of ones self interests seemed to be OK, despite the fact it would teach the children of such relationships that vows and commitment have little meaning. Being a divorcee myself, I don’t judge those who find themselves in a relationship that does more harm than good. But, I took my vows seriously and haven’t been in a relationship since the divorce.
At 55 some odd years I’ve learned that some of my greatest blessings were the trials and tribulations that brought me much pain and sorrow. The blessing is that those dark days made me more compassionate, caring and understanding and though my empathy for others can at times be ‘extreme’, it fills me with a good feeling about myself. I’ve avoided becoming hard and cold while protecting myself from hurt, and though more cautious with ‘old age’, I love that I can shed tears at others pain. I love that my children care for others and help others. I love when they do random acts of kindness, especially the anonymous kind.
That brings me to my lifes greatest blessings. My four children. Two boys, followed by two girls. They have been the source of so much happiness, joy and love. I have learned so much about God’s love because of my love for them. The oldest is 31, the youngest is almost a quarter of a century old. At times the roughest 30+ years of my life, but without any hesitation, I can also say the most satisfying and amazing years.
This blog will be thanking those who have taken their hands to help me raise them, influence them and teach them. It will be thanking God above all else for daily blessings and miracles. It is my journal, my thoughts on life after living it 55 years, knowing I have so much more to learn.
The first blessing of my life began with my conception. My mother was struck with polio and was told she would have no more children. While at the ocean, getting ‘rehabbed’, she became pregnant. My next blessing was being born without any disabilities or ‘issues’ related to moms polio.
I was born to a loving couple that over the years I would come to appreciate, admire and respect as I saw so many marriages fall apart. Divorce became a common part of society’s ‘norm’ and thinking of ones self interests seemed to be OK, despite the fact it would teach the children of such relationships that vows and commitment have little meaning. Being a divorcee myself, I don’t judge those who find themselves in a relationship that does more harm than good. But, I took my vows seriously and haven’t been in a relationship since the divorce.
At 55 some odd years I’ve learned that some of my greatest blessings were the trials and tribulations that brought me much pain and sorrow. The blessing is that those dark days made me more compassionate, caring and understanding and though my empathy for others can at times be ‘extreme’, it fills me with a good feeling about myself. I’ve avoided becoming hard and cold while protecting myself from hurt, and though more cautious with ‘old age’, I love that I can shed tears at others pain. I love that my children care for others and help others. I love when they do random acts of kindness, especially the anonymous kind.
That brings me to my lifes greatest blessings. My four children. Two boys, followed by two girls. They have been the source of so much happiness, joy and love. I have learned so much about God’s love because of my love for them. The oldest is 31, the youngest is almost a quarter of a century old. At times the roughest 30+ years of my life, but without any hesitation, I can also say the most satisfying and amazing years.
This blog will be thanking those who have taken their hands to help me raise them, influence them and teach them. It will be thanking God above all else for daily blessings and miracles. It is my journal, my thoughts on life after living it 55 years, knowing I have so much more to learn.
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