Over the last few months we have had quite a bit of snow, for a change. Driving is dicey but I timed my trip to Denver to fall right between two storms. There was a little bit of snow on dead man's curve and a few other places and the sliding around was scary, but thanks to God I arrived safely. I'm 'on call' today and more snow is due later tonight. Luckily now calls yesterday and with new snow lets hope the same holds true for tonight.
It is so bright on the snow that I have to keep my blinds mostly closed but the meadow shows no evidence of tracks so I haven't missed anything. Hopefully the deer and elk are hiding well as it is hunting season. Scanner traffic said one herd lost four of six of it's big bulls. Damn hunters. Wildlife officers said the outfitters made more money the last few weeks than they make in a year. Wonderful. And we lose some of our beautiful wildlife and they don't have the opportunity to grow into large 'Sampsons'. Figures. It's understandable when they use the meat and ALL of the animal for survival purposes, but mostly it's for the sport and that just seems ugly.
I'll enjoy the beauty of the view from the window and not think of what is going on in the mountains around me.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
gratitude list
This is just a list: My faith in God, the fact my parents gave me my faith, my belief in our Lord, Jesus Christ, what Christ did for us, for me; His dying for us, His example of how to live, forgive, love, care, be compassionate, be gentle, by attempts to be all the above.
David, his gentleness, kindness, Shannon, her peacemaking skills, her friendliness, Shaun, how he loves me, Tyler, his loving attitude.
Kris, how he cares for others, his compassion, his photography and massage skills.
Keri, her loving attitude, her beauty, her compassion,her caring attitude, her attempts to live the life I tried to instil in them.
Alicia, how she loves me, her laugh, her smile, how she wishes to make others smile, the fact her seizures aren't worse.
Char, how she has shown she loves me and that I was/am a good mom, her faith and how it has helped me with mine, her caring, her wisdom, her forwards, her kids, especially Marni, for taking care of mom's funeral expenses and the headstone.
Mason, his gentleness and caring attitude, (a trait that runs through our family)
Deb, that her and Bob's health hasn't taken her life, her love for dogs and caring for Tara
Tara that she is safe, I hope, her teaching skills that helped me with my kids and how she reached out to so many other kids.
Chuckie that he leaves me alone
that I live in Estes Park, on a meadow, that I see elk, deer, the birds especially the hawks and redwinged blackbirds, the mountains and that I have been blessed to live up here. The home I have, so blessed to have a nice place.
The food I have and the ability to get it from Crossroads, that I can help the girls get it.
Everything I need and more. Memories and items that stir good feelings in me when looking at them. Things to hopefully share with the kids and grandkids someday explaining how life used to be.
Hamilton and all the dogs that have blessed my life, his health. A car and that it is working. That when the car has problems it happens in safe places. The courage to become an advocate again. Janet, Gregg, Barb, Louise, many acquaintances and the memories from years gone by. That the bad times in life have made me more compassionate and caring and haven't been worse. For the health of my children and grandchildren and me and my loved ones. My illness is nothing next to so many others.
TV and lots of information and education and entertainment, fun. A computer and printer and money to spend. That I live in Colorado, the United States. The moon when full and the view of the meadow or being able to see better at night. The warm weather, the ability to walk, talk, hear, see, taste, smell, learn, remember, love, be loved.
God. Fr. Dwyer's influence. Mom and dad and that they are at peace and with God. That I can get my medications and health care, Alicia too, and Deb and Bob. That I'm not homeless. poor. crippled. loved. Books, the ability to read. the ability to communicate with those i care about. Miriam. The prayer chain. York Peppermint patties. steak. Greggs meats and turkeys for me. my days riding motorcycles. a refrigerator stove,microwave.Mase's saddle.bright Christmas, Jean Austin, blue Santa, schools, EVRPD Greg Farmer and the many scholarships, arts, paints,that my life has been so blessed in so many ways.
David, his gentleness, kindness, Shannon, her peacemaking skills, her friendliness, Shaun, how he loves me, Tyler, his loving attitude.
Kris, how he cares for others, his compassion, his photography and massage skills.
Keri, her loving attitude, her beauty, her compassion,her caring attitude, her attempts to live the life I tried to instil in them.
Alicia, how she loves me, her laugh, her smile, how she wishes to make others smile, the fact her seizures aren't worse.
Char, how she has shown she loves me and that I was/am a good mom, her faith and how it has helped me with mine, her caring, her wisdom, her forwards, her kids, especially Marni, for taking care of mom's funeral expenses and the headstone.
Mason, his gentleness and caring attitude, (a trait that runs through our family)
Deb, that her and Bob's health hasn't taken her life, her love for dogs and caring for Tara
Tara that she is safe, I hope, her teaching skills that helped me with my kids and how she reached out to so many other kids.
Chuckie that he leaves me alone
that I live in Estes Park, on a meadow, that I see elk, deer, the birds especially the hawks and redwinged blackbirds, the mountains and that I have been blessed to live up here. The home I have, so blessed to have a nice place.
The food I have and the ability to get it from Crossroads, that I can help the girls get it.
Everything I need and more. Memories and items that stir good feelings in me when looking at them. Things to hopefully share with the kids and grandkids someday explaining how life used to be.
Hamilton and all the dogs that have blessed my life, his health. A car and that it is working. That when the car has problems it happens in safe places. The courage to become an advocate again. Janet, Gregg, Barb, Louise, many acquaintances and the memories from years gone by. That the bad times in life have made me more compassionate and caring and haven't been worse. For the health of my children and grandchildren and me and my loved ones. My illness is nothing next to so many others.
TV and lots of information and education and entertainment, fun. A computer and printer and money to spend. That I live in Colorado, the United States. The moon when full and the view of the meadow or being able to see better at night. The warm weather, the ability to walk, talk, hear, see, taste, smell, learn, remember, love, be loved.
God. Fr. Dwyer's influence. Mom and dad and that they are at peace and with God. That I can get my medications and health care, Alicia too, and Deb and Bob. That I'm not homeless. poor. crippled. loved. Books, the ability to read. the ability to communicate with those i care about. Miriam. The prayer chain. York Peppermint patties. steak. Greggs meats and turkeys for me. my days riding motorcycles. a refrigerator stove,microwave.Mase's saddle.bright Christmas, Jean Austin, blue Santa, schools, EVRPD Greg Farmer and the many scholarships, arts, paints,that my life has been so blessed in so many ways.
Monday, August 22, 2011
My girls
I'm visiting my girls, whom I love dearly. It can be hard not being in your own place to do your 'own thing' but I'm so grateful to be able to spend time with them. They are able to live their lives as if I'm one of them, not worried about entertaining me. That makes me feel good and like 'one of the girls'.
They are still so young. Sometimes they feel they are getting old to quick and haven't ackomplished what they wished they had by now, but so many have gone to college only to change their minds about this point in time. I wish the one had the courage to break out of the comfortable and go for her dreams but I understand leaving the financial security of her life for now. Maybe someday she'll 'get her act together' and start with writing her stories for her nephews!
I've been blessed to have the relationship I have with them. Thank you Lord for that blessing.
They are still so young. Sometimes they feel they are getting old to quick and haven't ackomplished what they wished they had by now, but so many have gone to college only to change their minds about this point in time. I wish the one had the courage to break out of the comfortable and go for her dreams but I understand leaving the financial security of her life for now. Maybe someday she'll 'get her act together' and start with writing her stories for her nephews!
I've been blessed to have the relationship I have with them. Thank you Lord for that blessing.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Mule deer bucks in full velvet
For the second time in a matter of days two gorgeous bucks have appeared out my window, enjoying the long, still green and fresh grasses. A rarity as this is more 'elk territory'. Last night they came at midnight and the growls of my dog were the only way I knew they were there. They are my spirit guides and messengers from above. I don't always understand their message and presence but I never for a minute fail to appreciate their blessing.
Thank you Lord Jesus for this blessing, especially this week. I love you and the beauty of your creations and the view from my window. Peace and joy flow with the blowing grasses. Life is good.
Thank you Lord Jesus for this blessing, especially this week. I love you and the beauty of your creations and the view from my window. Peace and joy flow with the blowing grasses. Life is good.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
My life's blessings began 235 years ago
Our country is in such turmoil, such anger. This last Independence Day I was reminded of what it took to make this country a new nation. What it meant to break from the English rule and how much they were up against. The fact that those men of congress 235 years ago all agreed to commit treason for ideals, and they all lost so much because of it, leaves me in awe of just what it was that happened "back then".
There are those who totally misunderstand the concept of separation of church and state and are trying to omit God from all we hold dear, including our schools. Yet we would NEVER be where we are today, a strong respected country if it weren't for the blessings of Almighty God, whoever that is for you. If you don't believe in a higher power, that's your right, but the majority of us do, and that's how we rule, so leave it alone. If you don't want to learn the English language and follow the rules that this country has sacrificed much to establish, than change YOUR country as we did ours.
To be born an American has to be one of the first and foremost blessings I have been graced with. Second only to parents of strong faith in Our Lord, Jesus Christ, and God. They go together. Living here allowed that faith, that freedom of faith. God, continue to bless us in the years ahead. Thank you for the men, (and their families) who gave up so much to break from the oppression of England and all those who came after to maintain our freedoms and continue to expand those freedoms to all. Don't let the misguided and the downright evil change that.
There are those who totally misunderstand the concept of separation of church and state and are trying to omit God from all we hold dear, including our schools. Yet we would NEVER be where we are today, a strong respected country if it weren't for the blessings of Almighty God, whoever that is for you. If you don't believe in a higher power, that's your right, but the majority of us do, and that's how we rule, so leave it alone. If you don't want to learn the English language and follow the rules that this country has sacrificed much to establish, than change YOUR country as we did ours.
To be born an American has to be one of the first and foremost blessings I have been graced with. Second only to parents of strong faith in Our Lord, Jesus Christ, and God. They go together. Living here allowed that faith, that freedom of faith. God, continue to bless us in the years ahead. Thank you for the men, (and their families) who gave up so much to break from the oppression of England and all those who came after to maintain our freedoms and continue to expand those freedoms to all. Don't let the misguided and the downright evil change that.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Joy
Joy is choosing to see the beauty and blessings no matter what comes our way in life. It doesn't disappear because of the circumstances. Happiness is circumstantial, but joy builds in your life over time.
—Ed Young, author
—Ed Young, author
What is the message of this gift?
This morning following a call from my daughter rather early I was blessed to see a buck mule deer in the yard, large rack in velvet. I see elk fairly regularly in my meadow, and when I see the deer elsewhere in town, they are usually in small herds. To see one at this end of town is very rare.
The dog sitting on the porch didn't bother him as he just stood there and they watched each other in peace. The dog didn't even get up into a sit. Eventually he wandered on a short distance then turned and came back. Eventually, people walking had him trotting away but his visit was definitely a message from above.
God has always used deer to deliver special messages to us. Sometimes they represent a loved one passed on. My daughter had momentarily wanted to call her Mimi and tell her the good news of her job, then remembered she was no longer with us. Maybe this was Gods way of showing her HE is there, listening. When I called her to tell her she had just finished saying a prayer. Thank you for that Lord Jesus Christ. My God is so good. What a wonderful way to start the day.
The dog sitting on the porch didn't bother him as he just stood there and they watched each other in peace. The dog didn't even get up into a sit. Eventually he wandered on a short distance then turned and came back. Eventually, people walking had him trotting away but his visit was definitely a message from above.
God has always used deer to deliver special messages to us. Sometimes they represent a loved one passed on. My daughter had momentarily wanted to call her Mimi and tell her the good news of her job, then remembered she was no longer with us. Maybe this was Gods way of showing her HE is there, listening. When I called her to tell her she had just finished saying a prayer. Thank you for that Lord Jesus Christ. My God is so good. What a wonderful way to start the day.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Life can't always be perfect
Now that summer is officially here, the flowers sprouting up outside are beautiful, the hawks overhead inspiring, and the blue skis with light afternoon rain remind me of my childhood. We spent summers and vacations not far from here as I grew up and we explored the mountains during the day, read on the day beds during the afternoon rains and barbequed dinner under clear skies. My favorite memories of all time.
In high school I was hit with the disorder of depression. Though it is mostly under 'control' now, I hate those days when the urge to end it all just creeps up into an otherwise beautiful day. The problems of loneliness. I've thought of moving closer to my children as I never seem have time to slip into the darker moments. But where I live is so beautiful and there is something to be said for the quiet life. Just not too quiet.
Still, I can say the things I am grateful for so far exceed the bad. And I'm thankful for the down times because each negative experience has led me to have more compassion for those in similar situations and that makes me feel good about me and how empathetic and understanding/non-judgmental I can be. May I always be grateful for the blessings God has given me despite the bad days.
Thank you Lord Jesus.
In high school I was hit with the disorder of depression. Though it is mostly under 'control' now, I hate those days when the urge to end it all just creeps up into an otherwise beautiful day. The problems of loneliness. I've thought of moving closer to my children as I never seem have time to slip into the darker moments. But where I live is so beautiful and there is something to be said for the quiet life. Just not too quiet.
Still, I can say the things I am grateful for so far exceed the bad. And I'm thankful for the down times because each negative experience has led me to have more compassion for those in similar situations and that makes me feel good about me and how empathetic and understanding/non-judgmental I can be. May I always be grateful for the blessings God has given me despite the bad days.
Thank you Lord Jesus.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Call from my soul sister
Almost 26 years ago, God brought into my life a woman who would become not only my boss, but a very dear friend. My best friend. We don't see each other often, or even talk to each other that frequently, however, when we do, we have the deepest, most satisfying, encouraging, loving conversations I would have ever dreamt possible. Today was one of those days.
I met Barb within weeks of moving to Estes Park, I found I was pregnant and decided if Estes was to be my home, I needed to find a doctor here. The one I chose was just starting his business, (within the year I believe) and Barb was his part time, temporary office manager. Almost 10 (+ or -) years later I found myself working as a temporary file clerk, soon I would be her assistant. Temporary and part time are words neither she or I were able to follow through on. Some would call us suckers. : )
We used to spend hours reading the bible, "walking the walk", "talking the talk" and becoming soul sisters. We both were very faithful, in very different religions. Mine, often hated by others, hers, well some in her congregation didn't/don't believe we were/are Christians. Yet there were no judgments and we bonded immediately. We shared so much heartache, the first being my fathers death and later more personal losses and fears and problems. But there were the many blessings as well. The birth of my daughter, the joy of both of our children, the beauty of a river in an Aspen grove as we shared lunch, and Ohhh so much more.
She will always be the light of my spiritual life, a gem that will always be with me. God bless her and her family, especially in the trying times. May she have the strength to confront what she must and the wisdom to lead her father-in-law to You.
I love her and am closer to her than my sisters. She 'hears' me, understands me, loves me for who I am. I'm so grateful for her friendship.
I met Barb within weeks of moving to Estes Park, I found I was pregnant and decided if Estes was to be my home, I needed to find a doctor here. The one I chose was just starting his business, (within the year I believe) and Barb was his part time, temporary office manager. Almost 10 (+ or -) years later I found myself working as a temporary file clerk, soon I would be her assistant. Temporary and part time are words neither she or I were able to follow through on. Some would call us suckers. : )
We used to spend hours reading the bible, "walking the walk", "talking the talk" and becoming soul sisters. We both were very faithful, in very different religions. Mine, often hated by others, hers, well some in her congregation didn't/don't believe we were/are Christians. Yet there were no judgments and we bonded immediately. We shared so much heartache, the first being my fathers death and later more personal losses and fears and problems. But there were the many blessings as well. The birth of my daughter, the joy of both of our children, the beauty of a river in an Aspen grove as we shared lunch, and Ohhh so much more.
She will always be the light of my spiritual life, a gem that will always be with me. God bless her and her family, especially in the trying times. May she have the strength to confront what she must and the wisdom to lead her father-in-law to You.
I love her and am closer to her than my sisters. She 'hears' me, understands me, loves me for who I am. I'm so grateful for her friendship.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Thank God for daughters
WOW, my daughter, the one I don't speak to near as often as the other told me today, "I need my mom" ! Only God knew how badly I needed to hear that. My youngest daughter calls me two to three times a week, at least. The older one, she is finding her way and doesn't like to speak much. Very much like me, she is. Not a phone person.
I really felt that both girls appreciated me, but only the youngest of four only really needs me still. What a surprise that call was. Totally from God. She was talking about her draw to Seattle, but how she could never move there, she needed her mom to be around. And how she better have kids quick while I was still around. Ahhhh Here I was thinking I could see them more and be closer to them from heaven. I still believe that, but she even mentioned living together if she were ever alone.
A week or so ago she called to ask me to read her a story. She was feeling really sick and just wanted me to read her to sleep. Double AHHHH
The youngest, she is so cute and always makes me laugh. As mentioned she calls me often just to say hi and see how I'm doing. She's more a phone person. She will ask me to help her with homework or look something up on the internet or whatever.
My boys, ohhh how different. I have to remind myself the oldest is like the oldest daughter, not a phone person. I'm not so I don't blame them. I just get upset when they don't answer the phone or call me back. Heck they don't even check their messages but in this day and age I find it hard to believe they don't look at the phone and see I called. Caller ID now can make it harder to 'make excuses' "I didn't know you called" etc. Makes for hard feelings and it isn't always called for. Mothers intuition led me to know something wasn't right this last week/weekend. Unusual for me, I called my son three times plus sent an email, (which comes across their phones). Never an answer or response. By Mon. night I was a bit upset. He finally called in response to the email; he had been really sick for about a week. OK, me bad. All is forgiven, but still.....
This is my positive blog, I'll save any other feelings for my anonymous one.
Thank you for my daughters God. They always so make my day/week/life.
I really felt that both girls appreciated me, but only the youngest of four only really needs me still. What a surprise that call was. Totally from God. She was talking about her draw to Seattle, but how she could never move there, she needed her mom to be around. And how she better have kids quick while I was still around. Ahhhh Here I was thinking I could see them more and be closer to them from heaven. I still believe that, but she even mentioned living together if she were ever alone.
A week or so ago she called to ask me to read her a story. She was feeling really sick and just wanted me to read her to sleep. Double AHHHH
The youngest, she is so cute and always makes me laugh. As mentioned she calls me often just to say hi and see how I'm doing. She's more a phone person. She will ask me to help her with homework or look something up on the internet or whatever.
My boys, ohhh how different. I have to remind myself the oldest is like the oldest daughter, not a phone person. I'm not so I don't blame them. I just get upset when they don't answer the phone or call me back. Heck they don't even check their messages but in this day and age I find it hard to believe they don't look at the phone and see I called. Caller ID now can make it harder to 'make excuses' "I didn't know you called" etc. Makes for hard feelings and it isn't always called for. Mothers intuition led me to know something wasn't right this last week/weekend. Unusual for me, I called my son three times plus sent an email, (which comes across their phones). Never an answer or response. By Mon. night I was a bit upset. He finally called in response to the email; he had been really sick for about a week. OK, me bad. All is forgiven, but still.....
This is my positive blog, I'll save any other feelings for my anonymous one.
Thank you for my daughters God. They always so make my day/week/life.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
recent blessings
Posted on March 16, 2011 by bambifour
Well today, God did it again. Money is worse than tight, but I had to go to the store for food. The bread I wanted was on sale, (St. Patrick’s day, 2 day only), the cereal I wanted had a coupon making it cheaper than the sell price, milk and eggs were on sale….I saved about $20! Thank you Lord.
Well today, God did it again. Money is worse than tight, but I had to go to the store for food. The bread I wanted was on sale, (St. Patrick’s day, 2 day only), the cereal I wanted had a coupon making it cheaper than the sell price, milk and eggs were on sale….I saved about $20! Thank you Lord.
Peace
Posted on March 16, 2011 by bambifour
Peace is not the absence of trouble but the presence of God.
—seen on a church sign in
Columbus, South Carolina
Peace is not the absence of trouble but the presence of God.
—seen on a church sign in
Columbus, South Carolina
car miracles
Posted on March 13, 2011 by bambifour
The examples of God’s angels protecting us while in the car surpass the unexpected money miracles. We were coming up the ‘canyon’ and my daughter was getting in her experience on her drivers license permit. I don’t remember why, just that suddenly we were riding the side of a mountain. To this day there is only one reason we didn’t roll the car. Angels were holding it and guiding her to ‘ride it out’. One of the scarier moments.
We were taking a great many trips to Denver when we moved up to Estes. It began as a test run so most of our items remained in Denver as we found a furnished house to rent. The wagon seemed to be acting a little funny and I have no memory of any warning lights coming on. But, when I was about 6 blocks from home I knew I had to pull off of the BUSY, two lane road I was on. I was just approaching Colfax and decided to swing into the driveway right there. I had no idea it was a garage for mechanics. Worse yet, just as I rolled up into the lot, my entire drive shaft fell off. Had that happened in the canyon, or the highway it could have been disastrous. Any place else it would have caused a mess at the least and traffic jambs galore. I would have had to pay for a tow, money I didn’t have. I don’t remember what happened after that. But I do KNOW that another miracle had to have happened that allowed us to get the car fixed as I would drive it until my brother borrowed it, and blew the engine in it. He wrecked or destroyed every car anyone loaned him….but I digress…NOTHING is about him.
The examples of God’s angels protecting us while in the car surpass the unexpected money miracles. We were coming up the ‘canyon’ and my daughter was getting in her experience on her drivers license permit. I don’t remember why, just that suddenly we were riding the side of a mountain. To this day there is only one reason we didn’t roll the car. Angels were holding it and guiding her to ‘ride it out’. One of the scarier moments.
We were taking a great many trips to Denver when we moved up to Estes. It began as a test run so most of our items remained in Denver as we found a furnished house to rent. The wagon seemed to be acting a little funny and I have no memory of any warning lights coming on. But, when I was about 6 blocks from home I knew I had to pull off of the BUSY, two lane road I was on. I was just approaching Colfax and decided to swing into the driveway right there. I had no idea it was a garage for mechanics. Worse yet, just as I rolled up into the lot, my entire drive shaft fell off. Had that happened in the canyon, or the highway it could have been disastrous. Any place else it would have caused a mess at the least and traffic jambs galore. I would have had to pay for a tow, money I didn’t have. I don’t remember what happened after that. But I do KNOW that another miracle had to have happened that allowed us to get the car fixed as I would drive it until my brother borrowed it, and blew the engine in it. He wrecked or destroyed every car anyone loaned him….but I digress…NOTHING is about him.
God’s miralces
Posted on March 13, 2011 by bambifour
The following is taken from a Guidepost email I get:
A Little Bonus
"She wanted to go back to school, but didn’t have the money. The power of prayer was what she needed.
By Margaret Walsh
At the age of 36 I decided to return to college. As I signed the registration forms in the bursar’s office the cashier said, “The charge is five hundred and nineteen dollars. If you do not have the money now, you can pay next week when you start your first class.”
I didn’t have the money then. In fact, I wasn’t sure I’d have it the next week either, but my desire to complete my education was strong.
“Dear Lord,” I prayed as I left the office, “if you want me to do this, help me to find a way.”
In the late afternoon I stopped at the Department of Motor Vehicles to renew my driver’s license. After scanning my forms the clerk asked me about a name transfer I had made several years earlier on my car. Then she excused herself to confer with a supervisor.
What now? I fretted.
“Give it to her,” I heard the supervisor say. When the clerk returned, she was smiling. “We owe you some money on that transfer a few years back,” she said. “We’re going to give it to you now. It comes to five hundred and forty dollars.”
God had not only answered my prayer for the means to continue my education; he added a little bonus too!"
I don’t know how many stories like this I could tell. Once, I needed about $1000 for something important and I had NO idea how I would come up with that money. My daughter hurt her ankle playing baseball and because of the insurance their dad had, I had to take her to Boulder to be seen. (This was a generally ‘sore subject’ I simmered under each time something like this happened) On the way home, a deer jumped into the road hitting the drivers side fender. I was a mess, searching everywhere with a flashlight for the injured deer. thankfully, there was none to be found, no blood or hair on the car or road and so I was relieved at that good fortune. Amazingly, an uncommon practice, carrying full coverage on the car, was in place. The car was ‘totaled’ and the amount….just over $1000.
Miracles happen every day, if we only keep our heart and minds open so to see that….He has truly blessed us!
The following is taken from a Guidepost email I get:
A Little Bonus
"She wanted to go back to school, but didn’t have the money. The power of prayer was what she needed.
By Margaret Walsh
At the age of 36 I decided to return to college. As I signed the registration forms in the bursar’s office the cashier said, “The charge is five hundred and nineteen dollars. If you do not have the money now, you can pay next week when you start your first class.”
I didn’t have the money then. In fact, I wasn’t sure I’d have it the next week either, but my desire to complete my education was strong.
“Dear Lord,” I prayed as I left the office, “if you want me to do this, help me to find a way.”
In the late afternoon I stopped at the Department of Motor Vehicles to renew my driver’s license. After scanning my forms the clerk asked me about a name transfer I had made several years earlier on my car. Then she excused herself to confer with a supervisor.
What now? I fretted.
“Give it to her,” I heard the supervisor say. When the clerk returned, she was smiling. “We owe you some money on that transfer a few years back,” she said. “We’re going to give it to you now. It comes to five hundred and forty dollars.”
God had not only answered my prayer for the means to continue my education; he added a little bonus too!"
I don’t know how many stories like this I could tell. Once, I needed about $1000 for something important and I had NO idea how I would come up with that money. My daughter hurt her ankle playing baseball and because of the insurance their dad had, I had to take her to Boulder to be seen. (This was a generally ‘sore subject’ I simmered under each time something like this happened) On the way home, a deer jumped into the road hitting the drivers side fender. I was a mess, searching everywhere with a flashlight for the injured deer. thankfully, there was none to be found, no blood or hair on the car or road and so I was relieved at that good fortune. Amazingly, an uncommon practice, carrying full coverage on the car, was in place. The car was ‘totaled’ and the amount….just over $1000.
Miracles happen every day, if we only keep our heart and minds open so to see that….He has truly blessed us!
No Pollyanna
Posted on March 10, 2011 by bambifour
Part of the readings at mass today were “follow me, and you will have all you desire”. Paraphrased obviously. Christ is speaking of eternal life and a love we can’t even begin to fathom. But the human side of me has on occasion wondered why, after trying to live my life as Christ asked, God demands, loving others and God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, we can’t win even a small sweepstakes, amount in the lottery etc. I truly want for nothing, but at times I would like to go out for a nice steak, or hamburger or any meal out and not worry about the cost. Often I wish I had the money to give to a favorite cause or fundraiser. I see the cost of gas, a near empty gas tank and am sad that I can’t just take off whenever I want, go wherever I want.
Life growing up was much different from life now. At times even going to the thrift store for two dollar bag day is impossible and the dollar menu at a fast food restaurant is beyond my reach. At these times, I wish for more. I feel sorry for myself. But, when the day ends, I’m happy. I have plenty of food in my cupboard, I may not be ‘hungry’ for what I have, but I have it. I have a home to live in with heat, a bed and plenty to keep me entertained. What I want for is luxury items, things I seldom really need. What I have is so much more than millions in this world even dream of, even in our own country.
I have been blessed, I am grateful. But yes, sometimes I am a bit jealous and sometimes I want more.
Part of the readings at mass today were “follow me, and you will have all you desire”. Paraphrased obviously. Christ is speaking of eternal life and a love we can’t even begin to fathom. But the human side of me has on occasion wondered why, after trying to live my life as Christ asked, God demands, loving others and God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, we can’t win even a small sweepstakes, amount in the lottery etc. I truly want for nothing, but at times I would like to go out for a nice steak, or hamburger or any meal out and not worry about the cost. Often I wish I had the money to give to a favorite cause or fundraiser. I see the cost of gas, a near empty gas tank and am sad that I can’t just take off whenever I want, go wherever I want.
Life growing up was much different from life now. At times even going to the thrift store for two dollar bag day is impossible and the dollar menu at a fast food restaurant is beyond my reach. At these times, I wish for more. I feel sorry for myself. But, when the day ends, I’m happy. I have plenty of food in my cupboard, I may not be ‘hungry’ for what I have, but I have it. I have a home to live in with heat, a bed and plenty to keep me entertained. What I want for is luxury items, things I seldom really need. What I have is so much more than millions in this world even dream of, even in our own country.
I have been blessed, I am grateful. But yes, sometimes I am a bit jealous and sometimes I want more.
Understanding how much dad loved me
Posted on March 9, 2011 by bambifour
While I was ‘mama’s girl’, I never felt very close to my father and once even questioned his love for me. Oh the teenage years… I was out of high school and living at home when not at college. I kept talking about wanting a motorcycle and as I didn’t have a job, (dad wanted us to enjoy ‘childhood’ as long as possible, having ‘worked’ since he was 5) had to count on mom and dad buying me one for a special occasion. Dad was adamant against it. One day he finally told me why. When he was very young he witnessed a motorcyclist lose control on street car tracks and, hit a pole, head first, no helmet. A vision he couldn’t bear seeing one of his girls experienceing.
A Christmas or two after this, he surprised me with a motorcycle. My boyfriend, future husband, had sold his for a bigger one, and dad arranged it so I got his old motorcycle. I was ecstatic but it took me a few years for the impact of that gift to hit me. How much must he have loved me to put aside his fears to make me happy. I wonder if I ever told him I understood. And I knew he did indeed love me.
That gift later led to his suggestion that I get a job where I could ride motorcycles for a living. So I did. My first job was as a motorcycle escort/security guard. Probably the happiest time of my life, pre-kids and definitely my favorite job. Those were the days and I would love to relive them….
While I was ‘mama’s girl’, I never felt very close to my father and once even questioned his love for me. Oh the teenage years… I was out of high school and living at home when not at college. I kept talking about wanting a motorcycle and as I didn’t have a job, (dad wanted us to enjoy ‘childhood’ as long as possible, having ‘worked’ since he was 5) had to count on mom and dad buying me one for a special occasion. Dad was adamant against it. One day he finally told me why. When he was very young he witnessed a motorcyclist lose control on street car tracks and, hit a pole, head first, no helmet. A vision he couldn’t bear seeing one of his girls experienceing.
A Christmas or two after this, he surprised me with a motorcycle. My boyfriend, future husband, had sold his for a bigger one, and dad arranged it so I got his old motorcycle. I was ecstatic but it took me a few years for the impact of that gift to hit me. How much must he have loved me to put aside his fears to make me happy. I wonder if I ever told him I understood. And I knew he did indeed love me.
That gift later led to his suggestion that I get a job where I could ride motorcycles for a living. So I did. My first job was as a motorcycle escort/security guard. Probably the happiest time of my life, pre-kids and definitely my favorite job. Those were the days and I would love to relive them….
Childhood
Posted on March 9, 2011 by bambifour
I grew up in a ‘well to do family’, blessed by parents who kept life ‘real’. I never remember feeling better than anyone else, always appreciated what we had and was happy, wanting nothing. I was number three and would become ‘mama’s girl’. Probably because I was her ‘miracle child’ and the first two were spoiled by grandparents. My sister, number 4 would become ‘daddy’s girl’. Eight years later the two boys were born. Four girls, two boys.
iI would become a Central City Flower girl, as my sisters were. Plus, we were all Debutantes. I never would have guessed how much life could change. Yes, I wish I could have given my children less to worry about, prevent them from being tormented by those who think they they were better than us, but at the same time, my children are caring and compassionate and though in my eyes, (of course) they are better than many of the ‘rich kids’, their current group of friends are the ones who ‘say it all’. When they show up at gatherings, everyone chimes in unison, “Yeahhh the B—— are here”. They treat others with kindness and respect and are loved for who they are. So yes, though times would be rough, I was blessed with four diamonds in that ‘rough’. Thank you God.
I grew up in a ‘well to do family’, blessed by parents who kept life ‘real’. I never remember feeling better than anyone else, always appreciated what we had and was happy, wanting nothing. I was number three and would become ‘mama’s girl’. Probably because I was her ‘miracle child’ and the first two were spoiled by grandparents. My sister, number 4 would become ‘daddy’s girl’. Eight years later the two boys were born. Four girls, two boys.
iI would become a Central City Flower girl, as my sisters were. Plus, we were all Debutantes. I never would have guessed how much life could change. Yes, I wish I could have given my children less to worry about, prevent them from being tormented by those who think they they were better than us, but at the same time, my children are caring and compassionate and though in my eyes, (of course) they are better than many of the ‘rich kids’, their current group of friends are the ones who ‘say it all’. When they show up at gatherings, everyone chimes in unison, “Yeahhh the B—— are here”. They treat others with kindness and respect and are loved for who they are. So yes, though times would be rough, I was blessed with four diamonds in that ‘rough’. Thank you God.
Introduction
Posted on March 8, 2011 by bambifour
The first blessing of my life began with my conception. My mother was struck with polio and was told she would have no more children. While at the ocean, getting ‘rehabbed’, she became pregnant. My next blessing was being born without any disabilities or ‘issues’ related to moms polio.
I was born to a loving couple that over the years I would come to appreciate, admire and respect as I saw so many marriages fall apart. Divorce became a common part of society’s ‘norm’ and thinking of ones self interests seemed to be OK, despite the fact it would teach the children of such relationships that vows and commitment have little meaning. Being a divorcee myself, I don’t judge those who find themselves in a relationship that does more harm than good. But, I took my vows seriously and haven’t been in a relationship since the divorce.
At 55 some odd years I’ve learned that some of my greatest blessings were the trials and tribulations that brought me much pain and sorrow. The blessing is that those dark days made me more compassionate, caring and understanding and though my empathy for others can at times be ‘extreme’, it fills me with a good feeling about myself. I’ve avoided becoming hard and cold while protecting myself from hurt, and though more cautious with ‘old age’, I love that I can shed tears at others pain. I love that my children care for others and help others. I love when they do random acts of kindness, especially the anonymous kind.
That brings me to my lifes greatest blessings. My four children. Two boys, followed by two girls. They have been the source of so much happiness, joy and love. I have learned so much about God’s love because of my love for them. The oldest is 31, the youngest is almost a quarter of a century old. At times the roughest 30+ years of my life, but without any hesitation, I can also say the most satisfying and amazing years.
This blog will be thanking those who have taken their hands to help me raise them, influence them and teach them. It will be thanking God above all else for daily blessings and miracles. It is my journal, my thoughts on life after living it 55 years, knowing I have so much more to learn.
The first blessing of my life began with my conception. My mother was struck with polio and was told she would have no more children. While at the ocean, getting ‘rehabbed’, she became pregnant. My next blessing was being born without any disabilities or ‘issues’ related to moms polio.
I was born to a loving couple that over the years I would come to appreciate, admire and respect as I saw so many marriages fall apart. Divorce became a common part of society’s ‘norm’ and thinking of ones self interests seemed to be OK, despite the fact it would teach the children of such relationships that vows and commitment have little meaning. Being a divorcee myself, I don’t judge those who find themselves in a relationship that does more harm than good. But, I took my vows seriously and haven’t been in a relationship since the divorce.
At 55 some odd years I’ve learned that some of my greatest blessings were the trials and tribulations that brought me much pain and sorrow. The blessing is that those dark days made me more compassionate, caring and understanding and though my empathy for others can at times be ‘extreme’, it fills me with a good feeling about myself. I’ve avoided becoming hard and cold while protecting myself from hurt, and though more cautious with ‘old age’, I love that I can shed tears at others pain. I love that my children care for others and help others. I love when they do random acts of kindness, especially the anonymous kind.
That brings me to my lifes greatest blessings. My four children. Two boys, followed by two girls. They have been the source of so much happiness, joy and love. I have learned so much about God’s love because of my love for them. The oldest is 31, the youngest is almost a quarter of a century old. At times the roughest 30+ years of my life, but without any hesitation, I can also say the most satisfying and amazing years.
This blog will be thanking those who have taken their hands to help me raise them, influence them and teach them. It will be thanking God above all else for daily blessings and miracles. It is my journal, my thoughts on life after living it 55 years, knowing I have so much more to learn.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)